So Many Conflicting Emotions

We moved into the house way out in the county southeast of Boise back in 1967. It wasn't the "dream home" that mom so yearned for, but it was something my parents could afford at the time. During those times Boise (pop. about 65,000 then) was in the midst of a nationwide housing slump. The builder of the house at 9305 Burnett Drive had gone bankrupt, and the bank was eager to sell the property for $18,500.00

That was a lot of money back then, but nothing like the $400,00.00 or so it would be worth 40 years later. But it was something dad could just afford back then working for the USF&G Insurance Company as a special agent, and it was a lot more land than we ever could have lived on in Salt Lake City where the family had moved from in 1965.

Mom never did get to live in her "dream house" she and dad had spent years designing. But I didn't ever mind the place we ended up moving to. Back then we were surrounded by corn and alfalfa fields. Burnett Drive and Wright Street just south of us were the first suburban plots opened up then in the area for miles around. Old Harvey Burnet owned hundreds of acres that he had raised dairy cows and corn on most of his life, and he was getting old. He decided to make life a little easier by subdividing some of the land he owned.

So it's where I spent my teenage years, where I entered into a shaky adulthood, the home I lived in when I first entered the U.S. Army in 1975, and the place we always came back to to spend time with mom and dad in all the years since.

Dad died in 1994 from cancer. Mom shouldered on for quite some time after that, and because of her family history we thought she could live well into her 90s. Even in her 60s people who didn't know us thought she was my older sister. But she suddenly passed away of a major heart attack in 2006 just days after Christmas, and suddenly the ol' homestead was empty.

I have two younger brothers and a younger sister. We all felt pretty much the same about the property. Too many memories to just sell it. We didn't really know wha o do with it, though. If we were going to sell it, we should have done so right away. The property is no longer worth what it was then, having lost at least $100,000.00 in equity since the housing market and economy in general went down the tubes thanks to greedy bankers and even greedier politicians in Washington.

My daughter, Krysten and husband lived in the house for a while, but they found a home nearby that they really liked, and have just moved in. That pretty much leaves me, Nancy and the boys. My sister, Erin, has a nice place, and brothers Kevin and Mark are batchelors living in Salt Lake City and (temporarily) Jerusalem.

I get the place pretty much by default. And I am extremely thankful. But I also feel frightened and, quite frankly, a little unworthy of the place. This blog is meant to explain that and to document how I will overcome my fears and feelings of inadequancy, as well the work and improvement we put into the home that are necessary. I hope this running commentary will be of interest to my brothers and sister, as well as my children, my grandchildren, and perhaps a few special friends.

I'd appreciate any comments anyone would care to leave!